So you want to learn how to flirt? Before we start the leading 10 flirting guidelines for guys, let's first take a look at how you should approach a communication and interaction with a girl if you really want to be successful.
Flirting isn't really about impressing girls. It has to do with expressing your interest in a woman and doing it in a playful, subtle way. When it's done correctly, flirting is a means for a man and a woman to figure out whether they're drawn in to each other.
Flirting is not impressing her !
To begin with, your goal is not to impress her or to show off. This is the part about flirting that guys mess up most. Flirting is not about flaunting! If you hear a guy speaking with a woman about his luxury sports car, his executive job, or his huge bank account, he may think he's flirting but he is in fact trying to impress her, and probably failing at that.
In truth, flirting isn't about impressing women. It has to do with expressing your interest in a girl and doing it in a playful, subtle manner.
Exactly what is flirting ?
When done properly, flirting is a way for a man and a woman to discover whether they're attracted to each other.
Here's the thing. If you approach a girl and say, "Hello, you're beautiful, wanna go home with me?" - that isn't flirting. It's being really forward and direct. It bypasses all the build-up of a mating ritual and will generally turn a woman off.
However, if you approach a woman, smile at her, get her to laugh, make good eye contact, and maybe wink ... all this things communicates interest to her.
While conveying interest is excellent, you don't want to stop . You want your flirting to not only to let her know that you're interested, but you also want to find out whether or not she's going reciprocate your interest.
If she does return it, that's an excellent indication, keep going! If not, you need to decide quickly whether you have to alter strategies or walk away.
Constantly keep in mind exactly what your objective is.
Generally, as a man your goal is to communicate two things in your flirting:
1) Your male sexuality
2) Your self-confidence
Girls find both of these qualities extremely appealing. Communicate them indirectly and non-verbally, and you'll have women feeling warm and tingly when they fantasize about you. Women are emotional and empathetic creatures - they react to feelings and strong emotions. So if you convey your self-confidence and your male sexuality when you flirt, girls WILL respond!
now with that out of the way, let's dig into the:
TOP 10 FLIRTING GUIDELINES FOR MEN
1) Initiate your interaction with energy!
Greet individuals in a happy, lively, but most importantly, energetic way. The very first impression is key, and it's a lot more difficult to kick off your interaction in a low-energy way and build up than it is to begin full of energy and let things settle.
The more energy you have at the beginning, the more inclined she'll be to allow herself to be swept away by your energy.
you can have too much energy, and come across like a nut. Don't do that. Calibrate your energy level appropriate to the situation. You need to be just a bit more energetic than she is, but not too much more. Entering a relaxed dinner conversation like you're on the dance floor at a club is not going to work.
2) Make good eye contact.
Not many things communicate your confidence better than making direct eye contact. Always look her straight in the eyes, and hold eye contact longer than what is generally considered comfortable in ordinary circumstances.
A steady gaze is usually quite sexy, and helps develop a strong connection in between the two of you.
3) Make use of her name in conversation.
When you repeat a girl's name while talking to her does several things:
First, it shows the girl that you're actually making an effort to use her name and remember it for the future.
And in a subtle way, it helps establish familiarity and comfort when you say someone's name while talking to them. If you do this, she will feel familiar and comfortable with you automatically!
4) Ask questions about herself, but do it correctly.
Girls like talking about themselves, and it's good to express some interest in who she is. However, don't overdo it because it's very easy to come off as putting too much value on her. So don't make that error.
Be interested in who she is, and gather some details to find out common interests in between you two. Common ground that you can make use of to produce further connection.
For instance, if she mentions having been to Hong Kong and you've been there as well, you can relate to that and start talking about your very own adventures there. This will help build a strong emotional connection.
5) Talk about your own life experiences.
Just like the Hong Kong example, sharing stories you've experienced and adventures you have had helps shape her opinion of you and captures her imagination. By sharing certain stories, you can steer her opinion of you and have her believe what you want her to think about you.
6) Use flattery.
There's an old saying, "Flattery will get you everywhere!" And undoubtedly, girls enjoy it when guys say nice things about them - as long as it's genuine and unique.
You don't want to sound insincere or get yourself caught in a lie, or go around jeopardizing your integrity by handing out compliments for things you don't truly find appealing. even more important, you do not want to be giving the exact same compliments everyone else does - then you simply look like everybody else!
Simply put, if you can tell she gets compliments on her smile all the time, find something a bit more insightful to praise. Like perhaps how her smile makes her eyes crinkle in a cute manner.
The key to flattery is to set yourself apart from every nerd complimenting her on the same smile.
7) Whisper every once in a while.
Do this in a way that it fits the context, naturally, but there are few things more sexy and flirtatious than whispering. Leaning in to somebody and lowering your voice builds an aura of intimacy that can not be resisted. In fact, the closer you get when whispering, the greater the level of intimacy and the stronger the emotional connection.
8) Talk with self-confidence.
The worst thing while flirting is to come off as unsure, insecure, or frightened. Be secure in yourself and your knowledge.
If she says something you disagree with, don't hesitate to set the record straight or get into a light argument if you need to. Provided you don't go too far, girls react well to confidence and male aggression.
9) Use nicknames.
When you provide a name to something, you are symbolically expressing ownership over it. So when you give a nickname to a woman, you are at the same time establishing your dominance of the interaction and building an image she needs to live up to.
For example, if she is cute and shy, you can start calling her hello kitty. Tease her and make some jokes on it. Soon, she'll come to associate hello kitty with you and make an effort to measure up to the adorable image solely for you.
10) leave her wanting for more.
You don't want to exhaust everything in your flirting tool kit straight away, so switch between flirting and not flirting. Flirting constantly comes off as too strong, and it might be hard for you to keep putting that much energy into your communication. Switching over keeps you from tiring out even as it keeps the interaction going.
Likewise, it allows you to extend the interaction so when it's time to part ways, she'll still be interested in hearing more from you. Many men will start the flirting on a high note and let the energy drop so by the end, the girl has gotten her fill of you.
So make sure you end your flirting session on a high note that leaves her wanting more!
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By: Irvin Atala